First things first...
I go by many names. My real name is Lauren (and you ain't getting
my last name outta me!), but among my nicknames: Lauren Lime, Amidala,
VLA, VLAmidala, cutie, shortie, hey you, Laura, Laurie, Loran, violagirl, prep...
I think that's about it on the ones people still actually use.
I live in Skaneateles, NY, which is the most preppy-ass suburb of Syracuse, NY.
I bet you can imagine how much I love living in a community full of elitist,
narrow-minded, nauseatingly conservative assholes, can't you? (But I'm
not bitter...) Actually, it's not as bad as it sounds, cause it is a safe
place to live - I have yet to fear for my life, except for the one time a forty-year
old guy started hitting on my friends and me and one of my friends actually
walked away with him, but that was a while ago. And it snows here - that's not
cool (actually, it's very cool - hahahaha wasn't that funny). But regardless,
I'd rather be in Boston, or New York (City), or LA....
I am 17, but it's getting so damn close to March 4 (or maybe it's already past
March 4 - I dunno) that I'm just gonna round up and say I'm 18.
I am a big bad senior at Skaneateles HS. (If you recognize the
name Skaneateles, it's probably because the Clintons vacationed
here this summer. Otherwise, you must be from around here.)
Yee-frickin-hah. No,
actually I'm pretty damn excited about being a senior, because it means that I
can finally push freshmen
around and not get looked at weird for it... not that getting looked at
weird has stopped me for the past three years. (Yes, you read that right,
even as a freshman I made freshman jokes.) If you, my kind and benevolent
reader, are a freshman, please don't reach for your back button just yet -
I only antagonize evil freshman, and I always adopt (at least) one freshman
to be my freshman for the year. (Last year I had a sophomore who was
one of my freshmen, too...) See, as long as you're nice to me, I'll be
nice to you...
Now into the interesting stuff...
What I like to do in my spare time...
What spare time?
I am not familiar with this "spare time" thing... No, seriously, during
the school year I am so unbelievably busy (during the summer, I slack
off like nobody's business...). A few of the things I do (this is, of
course, including extra-curriculars, etc...):
Play viola (nine years and loving it, baby!), photography (black and white,
but only cause that's what I can do at school), sing (in the shower ONLY),
take another course, Youth to Youth (you probably don't know what that
is - go back to my main page -
after you finish on this page -
and follow the Youth to Youth link), orchestra, drama club (proud to have
been principal viola in five pit orchestras - and soon to be six), various
literary pursuits (usually I moonlight in the school newspaper, but
that sucks, so this year I'm gonna venture into our literary mag and
the yearbook), Junior Classical League (basically it's Latin club, but our
officers run it like a dictatorship so I'm preparing to make a stink and drop
out), work (at the Patisserie, selling bread and pastries),
SLEEP,
Syracuse Symphony Youth Orchestra (community
youth orchestra - this year will be my second, and we kick ass!)...
Um I think that about covers it. Sorta.
My Loves and Hates
(For which I will make tables, just to show off...)
TV Shows - Generally speaking, TV sucks.
| Loves |
Hates |
- Ally McBeal - Makes me feel much less insane... if you know me IRL,
you know how "Laurenated" I get.
- Monty Python - I am about to launch into variations on Spam, English
Kinigits, Scotsmen, and other such silly things, but I won't.
- Sailor Moon - This is a new favorite of mine. It's just too cool.
- As slightly embarrassing as this is to say... Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?.
Originally I started watching it just because it is so frickin lame, but now that
I'm getting close to being 18, I consider it research for the day when I will join
the ranks of blathering idiots who have made a fool of themselves on national
television.
- ER - Come on, who doesn't watch ER?
- X-Files - Actually, I haven't watched it all season (sorry, I usually
have this homework thing to do then...) but I'll admit that it's still a good
show.
That's really about it. |
Brace yourself:
- Dawson's - Don't even get me started.
- Buffy - Likewise. I was not at all disappointed when Sarah Michelle
Gellar died early on in Scream 2.
- Po5 - Ugh. I actually used to watch that when what's-her-face was
just a really amazing little violinist. Then they made her go through
puberty and... ah, fuck it.
- Time of Your Life - I think that's the name of it - the dumb Po5 spinoff
with that fink Love Hewitt.
- 90210
- Melrose
- Any other Spelling show
- Felicity - I am so sick of being asked if I watch Felicity
whenever I mention wanting to go to NYU.)
- Any TV news show - they are so lame.
That's really all I can think of right now. But basically if it's a
teenbopper show, I hate it. |
Movies - They aren't much better, but since there are more of them,
I can deal with it.
| Loves |
Hates |
I could really boil this down to Lucas and Kubrick, but
I won't.
- First and foremost - Star Wars. You probably could have predicted
that based on the fact that most of my website is Star Wars, but I felt
the need to reiterate. If you were to force me to rank the trilogy and
prequels (to date), I guess I'd say... shit I dunno, they all kick ass.
- A Clockwork Orange - I know, I know, what the hell is a girl
doing liking a movie that contains rape, murder, and all those guy things...
Because it's really about brainwashing, revenge, et cetera... and if you
actually agreed with that part about guy things... screw you.
- Eyes Wide Shut - Once again, yes, it has sex, yes it has an orgy...
But this one's really about your perception of reality.
- Dr. Strangelove - Just a cool movie.
- Monty Python and the Holy Grail - Once again, if I elaborate on this,
I'll start spurting Pythonisms.
- The Breakfast Club - It was really cool. I was surprised. I figured
it was just gonna be a naughty-teenagers-in-detention movie, but it was more along
the lines of cliques/stereotypes/personal identity/cool stuff like that. (Whatever
happened to teenager movies that had a real message? *sigh*)
- Ferris Bueller - Another cool eighties naughty teenager movie.
- The Matrix - At first I thought it was just gonna be a vehicle for
fancy computer effects, but I liked the kinda parallel universe slant. And
Keanu Reeves is really rather hot in black leather (or vinyl, or whatever it was).
- Rocky Horror Picture Show
- Real Genius - Val Kilmer has very good taste in slippes. :)
- Austin Powers - Even though I haven't seen The Spy Who Shagged Me yet,
I still like the first one.
- The Dark Crystal - If you've ever even heard of that movie, you have
to email me, because that would
be amazing. It was my favoritest movie when I was little, but I have yet to
figure out how I wasn't scared shitless by Skexxies (I know I misspelled that -
sorry.)
- The Last Unicorn - That was my second favoritest movie from when I
was little. Except Mia Farrow has no sense of pitch. But nobody's perfect.
- Stand and Deliver - My calculus teacher had us watch it. It was really
cool.
- The Big Chill - I guess I really like eighties movies.
Once again, I'm sure there are other movies I love, but my brain is still
on vacation right now. |
There really aren't that many movies I hate, because if
there's a movie I don't want to watch, I don't watch it. Wow. But I'll
try to come up with some movies I hate just for you.
- Oh, this one's easy - TITANIC. I'm so incredibly proud of being
able to say that I've never see Titanic. God, don't even get me started.
Leo DiCaprio (who they might cast as Anakin in EP2? A travesty!)
and that damn song... three hours long... THE BOAT SINKS!!!
- Anaconda - It was just dumb. And the effects were faker than Britney
Spears' chest... wait, I'll get to her later.
- Romeo and Juliet - Once again, it's got the Leo factor going on.
Otherwise, not a terrible flick.
- Scream and Scream 2 - They'd be further up the list because of their
"who's-who-of-teenyboppers" factor, except that I sorta liked the fact
that both movies talk about teen horror flicks in general (the nonvirgins
die, the sequel is never as good as the first movie, that stuff). But
they're still too predictable - I knew Mrs. Loomis was gonna turn out to
be a psycho from like the beginning of the movie. And now they're making it a
trilogy? On behalf of Star Wars, Indiana Jones, and all the other respectable
trilogies in history - I object!
- Teaching Mrs. Tingle - Actually I never saw it, but from the previews
and what I heard about it, I already don't like it. The only thing it has going
for it is that my US History teacher's name was Mrs. Pingel, and she was the
devil incarnate, so that was pretty cool.
- Most Disney movies - With the possible exception of Inspector Gadget,
but only cause it poked a little fun at Disney.
That's really all I can think of right now. But I know there are many
more... |
Music
Oh, am I ever gonna have a field day now...
| Loves |
Hates |
- RENT. RENT RENT RENT RENT RENT RENT! I absolutely adore the
soundtrack from the musical/rock opera RENT, which (S-M-R-T!) is why
I have a whole section on it.
- Alanis Morissette - I am once again on an Alanis kick. She has an
amazing, reckless voice, and her lyrics are great.
- Fiona Apple - For the same reasons I like Alanis. And I adore the title
on her new CD.
- Idina Menzel - Y'all probably don't know who she is, do you? She
played Maureen in the original Broadway cast of RENT. She's only put
out one CD so far, but it's good stuff. My favorite is "Heart on
my Sleeve".
- Weird Al - I only have Running With Scissors, and I originally only
bought that for "The Saga Begins", but as it turns out, he has my kind
of twisted mind. I especially like "Polka Power!" (BSB and Manson as
polka tunes?) and the horoscope song whose exact name I now forget.
- Barenaked Ladies - They're actually borderline too mainstream for
me, but they have good ideas.
- Tori Amos - Once again, a brilliant songwriter.
- Just about anything classical. I realize that as a teenager I'm
supposed to hate classical music, but as a violist, I say fuck that,
because classical is where it all started. .... Well not completely
started, but Hanson and BSB and Britney Spears and all those other acts
I love so very much (my sarcasm here is palpable) would not be around
were it not for classical. And besides, John Cage is more innovative
than any pop music icon.
|
Ooooh... time to vent. I'm gonna try not to list reasons,
because that would take too long to load on most people's 'puters.
- Backstreet Boys - Gag, wheeze, allergic reaction.
- Britney Spears - Hello, boob job. (Seriously now - she wants to get
her toes done? Um, fixation?)
- Celine Dion - That damn TITANIC song! They played it twice at the
New Year's party I went to this year... I practically screamed.
- 98 Degrees
- *N Sync - Hehehe, Honors English 11, hehehe.
- Pretty much all rap (I'm not your bitch, and I won't
shoot your homie. OK, so that was a serious stereotype, but that's why I object
to rap in general.)
- Ricky Martin - My French teacher last year also taught Spanish 5, so
she was always talking about Ricky Martin. Then my entire class (mostly teenyboppers,
too) became obsessed and - oh, it could've gotten real ugly.
- Christina what's-her-face - OK, so she's not entirely evil.
She does have a good voice. But for one thing, "What A Girl Wants" blows in
comparison to "Genie in a Bottle" (which wasn't that great of a song to start
out with, either), and she oughta be performing in some genre where they actually
appreciate talent.
- Mandy Moore - Hi. Eat something.
- Enrique I-can't-spell-his-last-name. I don't really even have a reason.
I just don't like him.
- Whoever it is that sings "Mambo Number Five." His intonation is awful.
Because of these and other fantastic acts, I don't even touch the radio
anymore. Gag me. |
Actors and Actresses
Once again, you can expect a lot more people on the right side.
| Loves |
Hates |
You will recognize many of these names from that Star
Wars movie they released this summer...
- Natalie Portman - A class act. The girl's going to Harvard (go Harvard!),
she got a 1400 on her SATs, which is higher than almost all the people I know,
she's been a vegetarian for ten years, she doesn't take
teenybopper roles... Need I elaborate?
- Liam Neeson - YUM.
- Ewan McGregor - Likewise (although there are some pictures where he
really looks like he has some sort of nutritional deficiency...)
- David Duchovny - Once again.
- Val Kilmer - Yeah.
- Lisa Kudrow - Back to colleges... she's not a ditz, she went to
Vassar.
- Claire Danes - She's actually OK in my book.
- Anthony Rapp - He's gorgeous, he's got a cool voice... too bad he's
gay.
- Adam Pascal - Another RENTie, and he is so hot...
- Ray Park - He's my body fixation. Ooooohhh.......
- Harrison Ford
|
More venting...
- Leo (I could completely believe him being gay...)
- Katie Holmes
- Sarah Michelle Gellar
- Jennifer Love Hewitt - She looks like a rodent. And she's really
annoying too.
- You know, I honestly can't think of any more names right now, which
is very strange. I promise I'll come back and fix it.
|
Well, folks, I think that's about it. Hope you enjoyed reading all
about me.
